which Fromm claims we all strive for overcoming her

Wisecrack

Spike Jonze's "Her" – Can a computer teach you how to love? 
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Spike Jonze's 2013 film "Her" is ostensibly a movie about a man who falls in love with his computer. But if you look a little closer, it's actually more like an advice manual about how we can get better at human to human relationships. Allow us to explain in this Wisecrack Edition on Her: Why You Suck at Dating.



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HER - Why You Suck at Dating – Wisecrack Edition

They’re all things I strive for in my life in different ways and yet at the same time

They’re all things I strive for in my life in different ways, and yet at the same time

Rare Earth

This is the second in my little two part working holiday to Bermuda. Another somewhat happy story.

After this we're headed to Uruguay, a country I knew virtually nothing about until I showed up at the airport. Like Bermuda, it will be a lot less heavy than our last few seasons, which I for one appreciate.

Then we get to Cuba where I go to a cock fight. Which was gross. But that's not for a while yet.

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The Roof That Keeps Bermuda Alive

Flux

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3 designers you MUST know (1970s)

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Navy SEAL Astronauts - Smarter Every Day 243

Kurzgesagt – In a Nutshell

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Worst Nuclear Accidents in History

 Hey Wisecrack, Jared here and today we’re talking about the film that introduced us

Spike Jonze’s 2013 sci-fi/romance is pretty well regarded for its uniquely-non-dystopian

And because Jonze so effectively brings a computer voice to life in the form of Scar

the film is often considered primarily to be an exploration of “what makes a human

Ironically, we’d argue that the film is actually more about a computer teaching a

It sounds counterintuitive, but we’ll explain.

Welcome to this Wisecrack Edition on Her.

Alright guys let’s do a very-quick recap.

Her tells the story of Theodore Twombly a professional letter writer trying to pick

himself up from the rubble of a failed marriage.

Little does he know that the woman of his dreams might just be a few clicks away an

artificially-intelligent Operating System named Samantha.

Theo’s story is about his struggles with making and maintaining a long term connection.

Through his failed marriage and his relationship with Samantha, he comes to learn something

essential about not WHO to love, but HOW to love.

Lucky for us, a German fella named Erich Fromm wrote a whole book about this back in 1956

“The Art of Loving” and it can help us to better understand Jonze’s film.

Born in 1900, Fromm was a psychologist and thinker who combined Sigmund Freud’s psychoanalytical

with Eastern and humanist philosophy in hopes of better understanding human nature

and how we can live fuller, happier lives.

While Freud saw romantic relationships as being primarily sex driven,

Fromm argued that such relationships are actually rooted not in libido,

but in alienation, that is, our feeling of separation from the world around us and our

Her might not have your post-apocalyptic flair of most future-set films,

Cramped commuters and aimless windowshoppers alike

remain perpetually plugged into their handheld computer

Rarely do we see two people walking together in the background.

Long before real-life, not-so-foldy smartphones were everywhere,

Fromm anticipated this isolation as a problem of the modern era.

He compared it to the story of Adam and Eve humankind has strived for greater knowledge

but in turn has separated themselves from the world around them, and from one another.

Theo’s iPhone-sleek world is a testament to mankind’s brainpower,

but also a monument to the alienation it has facilitated.

Fromm suggests that the only way for us to really overcome this feeling of alienation

He recognized that we all vaguely understand this our world is saturated with songs,

emblazoned with tributes to how love will set you free and lift you up and make you

However, according to Fromm, the problem lies in the fact that most of us don’t really

Now, the really vital thing for Fromm was that love is not some mystical force that

spontaneously erupts into our lives when we find the ‘right’ person.

It’s not just an emotion, but an act of will,

a purposeful attempt to fully see and understand a person.

That means knowing them not just in terms of who they are to us or what we want from

but as fully-formed, individual entities.

We quickly learn that this is something which Theo has already struggled with.

In a montage that plays out like Marriage Story on 500x speed,

we see him and his almost-but-not-officially-ex-wife,

Catherine delighting in the golden days of their marriage,

to the cold realities of their divorce proceedings.

From the way he smashes these scenes together in his head,

it seems that Theo understands love the way many of us do 

something that you ‘fall into’ suddenly and without warning,

and ‘fall out’ of just as mysteriously.

Because we see love as this unknowable force working beyond our control,

we are left bewildered when it evaporates.

 According to Fromm, most of us don’t understand love well enough to effectively

So, he argues, we turn to various alternatives that provide

artificial bursts of the connection we crave.

We see Theo enter an adult chatroom and find an equally lonely woman

modern technology allowing them to connect in some form.

However, they don’t really know, or want to know their temporary partner–

all they are looking for is the quick sensation of being desired,

a jolt of pleasure to dispel their anxiety.

However, given the superficiality of their connection,

it’s no surprise the two end up on very, very different wavelengths.

The dead cat next to the bed, choke me, choke me with it.

 Another flawed approach to romance Fromm identified is called sentimental love

love which is experienced only as a fantasy and not as a relationship

like romantic comedies or romance novels or in our idealised picture of past loves 

like Theo’s idyllic recollections or in our imagined, perfect future with ‘the one’,

where we have found the person we are ‘meant’ to be with.

By day, Theo composes “beautiful handwritten letters,”

often for customers who want a shortcut to experiencing big,

Test your pronunciation!

“strive”